<< Home

^   Up to Suigintou's Koyoi mo Ennu~i Vol. 3 - Christmas Special  - Track Index



Track 5 - "Suigintou's 'I'll Turn You Into JUNK!'"


Suigintou: Suigintou's... [Echoing voice:] "I'll Turn You Into JUNK!"
[Breaking glass.]
[Music starts.]
...
Suigintou: Collecting many of the worries of my listeners and solving them is what this corner is about. But, this being a Christmas Special, we're going to concentrate especially on the worries that you have because of it being Christmas. Well, although since you've probably got nothing but ridiculous worries, and Megu went off somewhere, maybe I could just go home too... ... Yeah, I know. It's a joke, for crying out loud! Well then, without getting our hopes up, shall we read some~?
[Paper rustling.]
Suigintou: We'll begin first with this letter. It comes to us from Medium Name Mizuki Asakura-san. Thanks. "Hoho~i! That's my funny sort of greeting. Actually, I am Santa! This year, Gin-chan, because you've been a good girl, I intend to give you a present! Yes, Gin-chan, if you are good enough to choose me as your Medium, on Christmas you can look forward to the game software 'Detective Kunkun DS'..." Detective Kunkun, you say?! I want it! I want it so much~! [Deep breath.] Don't let yourself be trolled... Ahh, but, more than a game, or more than anything, I'd like to meet Kunkun himself in person~! Ahhh, please, God of Christmas, Santa Claus, give me Kunkun! And also Father, and... ... Let's read the next one.
[Paper rustling.]
Suigintou: This one comes to us from Medium Name "Lactic Acid Beverage Is Very Good For Our Health So Let's Drink It"-san. Thanks. "Gin-sama, ennu~i." Ennu~i. "Lately we've adopted a cat at our home, but there's somethat that worries me. When I walk down the hallway, the cat starts to follow me. But if I turn around, then he stops, and if I try to approach him he runs away. But, if I then avert my eyes and nonchalantly turn my back on the cat, he follows me again. I think of myself as having always been the type of person who is liked by animals, but what should I do to demonstrate my sincerity so that he won't run away?" Oh, you poor thing~. Are you playing "Daruma-san ga Koronda*" with the cat~? How sad~! Meowww~! So that he won't run away... [Echoing voice:] Try bathing your entire body in catnip! Bathe in it as if it were hot water~!
          [* a Japanese children's game similar to Red Light, Green Light]
[Breaking glass.]
Suigintou: Next.
[Paper rustling.]
Suigintou: This one comes to us from Medium Name "Christmas Is That Person's Birthday"-san. Thanks. "Gin-sama, good evenuts.*" ... Good evenuts...? Huh... What are you, stupid? "Even though it's so cold that I can't get out of my futon in the mornings, it just won't snow. Gin-sama... Please, Gin-sama, use your power to make it snow enough for me to be able to build a snowman." ... Rather than that, I know something that would be muuuch more amusing than to build a snowman... [Echoing voice:] How about if I make you into a feather-man~? A pitch-black feather-man~! [Laughter.]
     [* writer is using a strange 2ch style of affected speech]
[Breaking glass.]
Suigintou: It would be so wonderful~! And when I'm finished, I'll decorate my room with you! Meimei, get out here! Next.
[Paper rustling.]
Suigintou: Uhh, this one comes to us from Medium Name "Out Of Fashion"-san. Thanks. "Like you earlier, Suigintou, I feel like my heart is being turned into Junk by Megu." ... Not by me, but by Megu...? [Gasp.] Megu... By now it seems like you're taking over even this corner! Ahh, such a scary girl! [Panting.] I've got to devise some kind of countermeasures... Next!
[Paper rustling.]
Suigintou: This one comes to us from Medium Name Anderson. Thanks. "At last it's the month of December - Christmas. The amount of lighting in the town increases all at once, and I can't help but worry and worry that there will end up being not enough electricity. Gin-sama, by all means, please destroy this wasteful illumination. I'm counting on you." Yeees! Shall I destroy it with my blue flames and turn it into a festival? [Singing in an echoing voice:] Wreck happiness~! Wreck Christmas~! Yeah, wreck Christmas~! And continue with a Festival of Junk~! Yeah~!
[Breaking glass.]
Suigintou: [Panting.] ... Well, next.
[Paper rustling.]
Suigintou: This letter is from Medium Name Norris-san. Thanks. "It's nearly Christmas. Which means, I'm worrying about Christmas cooking. I'm thinking of making roast chicken, but which do you think would be appropriate - a hen, or a turkey? Ah, but, maybe people would be happy if I made Flower-Topped Hamburger and put special Christmas decorations on it? Ahh, what should I do? I'm confused as to which would be best~!" ... Hen or turkey? If it's Christmas, then turkey, right? Oh, but she said "roast chicken", so I guess a hen or something would be best? Now that I think of it... what's "Flower-Topped Hamburger"? ... Eh? A hamburger steak with a fried egg in the shape of a flower on top of it? Ah. I see. Hmm... Flower-Topped Hamburger... Flower-Topped...? Flower-Topped, eh... Well, that would be fine, wouldn't it? And then serve it up suitably with some red things and some green things, and it would be really Christmassy... Hm? Red and green? ... Shinku...? Now that I think of it, Shinku wears Christmas colors, doesn't she~! [Laughter.] Oh, that's so funny~! [Echoing voice:] Maybe sometime I should hang Shinku from a tree or something as a decoration~! [Laughter.]
[Breaking glass.]
Suigintou: [Laughter.] ... [Catching breath.] ... But, though it's Christmas we're speaking of, these are really~... [Chuckle.] ...Nothing but such lame worries, aren't they~? I wish you'd be a bit more considerate of the program. I'm joining you because I have no choice in the matter, but please send me some proper and intelligent letters that will entertain me~!
[Music fades out.]



<<  Track 4: "How About Sending In a Picture To the Radio Program?"

>>  Track 6: "Commercial Time 2"

^   Up to Suigintou's Koyoi mo Ennu~i Vol. 3 - Christmas Special  - Track Index