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Track 9 - "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Room'"


Suigintou: It's about time for the end of "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i'", so-
Megu: [Echoing voice:] "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Room'".
[Music starts.]
Suigintou: [Groan.] I knew it...
Megu: [Giggle.] Thank you, Suigintou.
Suigintou: It doesn't particularly mean that I've approved of it.
Megu: And right off, we've got a caller on the line. Hello?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hello!
Megu: Good day. I'm this program's assistant, Megu Kakizaki.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Kun kun kun... [Chuckle.] Hey, good day! I'm Kunkun - the ill-fated detective!
Suigintou: Eh-?! Kunkun?!
Megu: Ah, by any chance would you be...?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Yeah, I'm that Kunkun!
Suigintou: K... Kunkun~?!
Megu: Then, might you chat with us for a bit?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Drawn-out:] Of cooourse! Hmmm... Actually, ahh...
Megu: Actually?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Drawn-out:] I'm extreeeeemely...
Megu: [Drawn-out:] Extreeeeemely...?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Drawn-out:] Troubled by somethiiiiing...
Suigintou: Ah, Kunkun-!
Megu: Troubled by something?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Well, if I had to say one way or the other... mmm, perhaps, rather, worried about something...
Megu: Um... This is wasting time, so would you mind please getting directly to the point?
Suigintou: H-hey, Megu-! How dare you speak in that tone of voice to Kunkun-?!
Megu: Well, he's taking so long. May I hang up now?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ah, w-wait a second! I-I'll get directly to the point!
Megu: Well, go ahead please.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Sigh.] Thank goodness! [Funny voice:] Golly, you surprised me there~! [Laughter.] Juuust kidding~! Ya-ha-ha! I've got this habit, you see, of speaking in a really roundabout way. I guess you could call it, an occupational hazard? [Sigh.] 
Megu: ... I'm hanging up.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ahhh-! Sorry! Wait! Please, wait! I'll tell you about it right away! I'll tell!
Megu: [Sigh.] Well, go ahead please.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] You reeeally made me sweat theeere ~kunkun! Ahh, wellll, after all, it's in the nature of my line of work to tell people, "If you've got something troubling you, just leave it to me," you know? But, if I may be so bold as to say it, having nothing to worry about... might itself be a worrying thing? Juuuust kidding~! [Laughter.]
[Click.]
Suigintou: M-Megu-?!!
Megu: [Sigh.] That concludes the corner, "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Roo-'"
[Ring.]
[Click.]
Megu: Yes, hello?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hey now! Hey now, hey now! Really, please, don't hang up on me!
Megu: [Coldly:] Do you have some other business with us?
Suigintou: W-wait a second, Megu!
Megu: But...
Suigintou: W-well, then... If you wish, I wouldn't mind speaking to him in your place, but...
Megu: Eh? Suigintou, what's the matter?
Suigintou: N-nothing in particular~! It's... I just, felt like it is all...
Megu: Yes? Well then, Suigintou, if you please.
Suigintou: [Gulp.] Y-yes...! ... A-ah... Hello~?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hello! Ahh, you really bailed me out there~!
Suigintou: I-I... You're quite welcome! A-ahh, Kunkun... I... My name is S-S-Suigint-
Kunkun: [On the phone:] So then, let's get right to the point! Actually, I've been thinking about, hmm, novelty items for my program, I guess you could call them - presents for the viewers of the show. But no good ideas are really occurring to me, you see? Well, as you know, it's quite a long-running program, so the usual sort of goods have been thoroughly milked dry by now. So, what I need is not something that's been made before, but some kind of goods you could call "now", "young", and "sensitive" - like me! ... Hmm... When I try to think of what it should be, ahh, my head seems like it's entered a labyrinth, a maze...
Suigintou: A-ah... I-I see...
Kunkun: [On the phone:] So, I thought I'd take a shot at asking the opinion of a disinterested third party! And I was thinking, it should be something "cute" and "pretty" and 'high-sense", and furthermore the type of goods that could be cheaply mass-produced would be good, you know?
Suigintou: Mm-hmm, as expected of Kunkun...! That's so deep~!
Megu: Do you think so? Sounds very convenient for him.
Suigintou: Goods... Goods, eh? ... Mmmmm~, goods...!
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hmmmm...! What should it be... What should it be?
Suigintou: I... ah, I mean, your fans would... I think that as long as it's from Kunkun, they'd be happy no matter what it was! [Giggle.]
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Very happy to hear that ~kunkun~! But, it's not very instructive.
Megu: Yes. Well then, how about just giving them some fakes?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ehhh?!
Suigintou: H-hey, Megu-! What's the idea of suggesting fakes?!
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Th-that sounds like excellent reasoning. Even for one as perceptive as I, it's a most unexpected concept!
Suigintou: You're startling Kunkun!
Kunkun: [On the phone:] No, could you explain to me your bold reasoning?
Megu: Sure. Actually, the other day I received some Kunkun goods during a hospital visit by a person who said they'd gone on a trip overseas.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hmm... Ah-?! You don't mean... that was...?!
Megu: Yes. They were fakes.
[Dun-dun-dun.]
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ahhh! That's a shoc-Kunkun~! Ah, you mean those things, those fakes from overseas, that are kinda subtly funny-looking and stuff, those things, right? That have the [BEEP] and the [BEEP] markings reversed, and kinda have the balance all crooked on the body, and when you [BEEP] the [BEEP], the [BEEP] comes out! Those, right?
Megu: Right. With the fakes that I got, when you [BEEP] the [BEEP], the [BEEP] comes out. Well, I just gave them away to someone else who wanted them, though.
Suigintou: Ehh?! C-could that mean... that the Kunkun goods that I got from Megu are...?!
Megu: But, on the other hand, those points that don't resemble the real thing were very cute.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ehh?! D-do you think so?!
Megu: Yes. Those peculiarities gave it a flavor that's not to be found in the genuine article.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] B-by "flavor", you mean in other words, my "prettiness" and "tastiness", right? C-certainly those are goods that wouldn't be thought of officially.
Megu: By the way, it seems that almost all of the Kunkun goods sold overseas are fakes.
Suigintou: Wha... what did you say?!
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Wha... wha... what is this?!
Megu: It comes with the territory of being popular.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ngh...! But, but I'd... like to save them. Those people who are being deceived by fakes! This passion of mine, for the sake of saving them from fakes all over the world, right now is burning hotly!
Suigintou: Ahhh, Kunkuuun~!
Megu: There's only one means for you to confront these fakes.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Yeah - to release them officially, right?
Megu: Yes. That's why you should just formally adopt the fake designs for your own use.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] I see~! Kuuu-kunkun! That's what they call killing two birds with one stone, right? Magnificent! I would never have thought there was a person besides myself who could think up such a concept as this...
Megu: It's all right. You'll be up to it - you're a guy who can do things if he tries.
Suigintou: A-a guy who can do things if he tries-?
Kunkun: [On the phone:] That's right. I'm... I'm a guy who can do things if he tries! [Chuckle.] Would you mind telling me your name?
Megu: Eh? ... I think I said it at the beginning, but it's Megu Kakizaki.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Whooops~! That's right! How thoughtlessly rude of me ~kunkun!
Megu: No, I don't mind.
Kunkun: [On the phone:] Thanks! You saved me! Well, then, see you all again next weeKunk-
Megu: Bye.
[Click.]
Megu: [Sigh.]
Suigintou: H-hey, Megu! Couldn't you be a little bit more personable?!
Megu: Well, that Kunkun was kind of a creep. In reality, I think fakes would suit him better.
Suigintou: Ehh?! Hah... Megu's... a scary girl...
Megu: [Giggle.] Well then, let's leave off here for today. We'll be waiting for you all to write.
Suigintou: [Moan.] Is it all right to have turned out like this, I wonder...? I want you so much, Kunkun~!
Megu: So then, the "happy key words" for you - today's astrology forecast.
[Music changes.]
Suigintou: A-again?!
Megu: [Echoing voice:]
Aries: Hello. ...
Taurus: The upper arm. ...
Gemini: *Blush*. ...
Cancer: Fluff-fluff. ...
Leo: Huh... ...
Virgo: Well, kinda... ...
Libra: Fork. ...
Scorpio: Destination for a stroll. ...
Sagittarius: Is that so? ...
Capricorn: Pass the salt. ...
Aquarius: Make the best of it. ...
Pisces: Argentina. ...
Suigintou: A-ahh... M-Megu? "The upper arm"? And, "fork"? Really, this makes no sense...
Megu: It doesn't? Ah, more importantly, Suigintou, what sign are you?
Suigintou: Ehh?! M-me? I'm... uh... Th-that kind of thing doesn't matter, does it?!
Megu: [Chuckle.] No? Then, wanna "fluff-fluff" with me?
Suigintou: E-ehh?! "F-fluff-fluff"... what are you going to do?
Megu: [Whispering:] Fluff-fluuuff... [Normal:] Well, wanna "fork", then?
Suigintou: N-no thanks! ... A-although I don't really understand what you mean...
Megu: No...? You could just "make the best of it", for my sake. Well, that concludes the corner "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Room'". So then, today as always, please do your best, okay?
[Music fades out.]



<<  Track 8: "Today's Song: 'Thankful Anniversary' (Megu Version)"

>>  Track 10: "Ending"

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